Yes, I really gave up le!

After much struggles, I've decided to give up & end it now *sigh*

(I was having this huge headache till I woke up subconsciously for alot of times! I really kena woke up in the end lar, coz had a kuku nitemare tat I've lost my way somewhere & I duno how to get out. Somehow this ending of the dream forced me to wake up, it seems like got a hidden meaning?)

Woke up le Mama started her part 4 bombing by digging out my previous r/s:-
(Couldnt rem much as Im having such a huge headache cum juz woke up mah)
- Dont take so much photos like previous time
- Go out see movie & eat can le, dun take so much fotos
- If wanna take fotos can wait till married le den take as much as u wan oso nt late by then
- Your cousin's duno 3rd or 4th wife, they also din take much foto, in his hse juz like 3 fotos nia
- Dont know why I like to take fotos so much
- Mama said I shld get rid of this foto-takin habit!
- If yr previous ex not happy he will buried himself with those pics u've taken (ok, there's a hidden meaning when she said this. She's trying to say tat my ex will 想不开, kill himself or even me too)

真的快疯掉! 疯掉! 疯掉! 疯掉! 疯掉! 疯掉! 疯掉! 疯掉! 疯掉! 疯掉! 疯掉! 疯掉! 疯掉! 疯掉! 疯掉!

Previously I've being struggling with my inner feelings, I tot I will give up coz I cant suppress my own feelings. After much tinkings & cryings, I tink I've finally won & continued to meet Da Ren last Sunday. But I never tot tat I will give up coz of external pressure, my Mama.

Tink I nv blog abt this ba. My Mama, the super scary Mama. Everything I do she just not happy with it. In a gentle speaking is she scare tat I will get hurt. For every r/s that was spotted by her went tru this stage. Terrible stage. I rem previously I shoot her back when I almost mentally broke down? I said tat whoever I choose she also wun like, since she's so picky why not she choose a bf for me! Haiz~ Mayb those bombing of qns seems nth to u all, but it's a totally damn huge pressure on me which Im so afraid of it. Mentally stress till I really couldnt take it.

I tink I couldnt take up any r/s under such pressure from her. I went to take a strong relief panadol to kill off my huge headache & I sms Da Ren. I tink I did it in a hurting way? Im so sorry tat I wanna free myself from stress & put an end to it.

"Ok lets put it to an end. I dun wanna live in such misery anymore. I tink u duno tat I'm crying almost everyday ba. I juz cant get into any r/s. Dun contact le."

"It doesnt make much diff (Da Ren suggest tat I tell Mama we're juz frenz) Im really sick n tired of all these. Jus let me go k?"

"Wait for me? (Da Ren agreed to let me go but he will wait for me) Why bother to wait? It's impossible. Uncle pls dun waste yr time. U're not young le lor."

Honest speaking, I myself also duno when I really have the courage to get into a new r/s. It's really tough when I gotta cope with my own freaking strong inner feelings as well as external factors like my terrible freakin Mama.

Oh yah, ytd nite arnd 9pm bro went out & Mama asked him where he's going, he said park! After awhile Mama really went out to spy him in e park lor! That's how terrible freakin my Mama is. This is nt funny lor, its stress! Tink both my brothers din get into any r/s before ba. Mayb coz they saw the consequences in my example ba.

Maybe I forever also wun get into r/s le ba. I duno. I cant give any timing or promise. I dun wish to hurt anyone else. I dun wish to waste anymore of their time. So, I beg (mayb till the extend tat I will curse?) all guys out there, never ever fall for me!

Oh yah, I din go for tat Recruit Express interview. Tot of going there warm up my interview experience but since Papa say havin headache dun go out & I sent email turn it down lor. I lied tat I got a job offer somewhere else. Actually also not lie lar. Coz after awhile my 2nd resume sent out called me for interview nx monday. A shipping company which Darling helped me find tru Jobsdb. Thanks Darling. If I really got this job, u deserve to eat some shark fin or stuff. LOL~ Oh yah, did realize tat I din really noe how to really search tru webs lor. Coz Darling can find alot jobs which not tru agency but almost all I found is tru agency =.=