Emo freak is here again!

Yes, such title tells u tis gonna be an entry full of words no pic, not a single one!

*sigh*

Well, these few days actually Im quite emo lar. Emo over wat? Hmmmm~ Emo over relationship thingy or mayb its juz pure frenship? Duno lar *haiz*

What's love? How to determine whether u really love this person? If someone treats u well, it doesnt mean tat person loves u? If someone being sweet to u, u feel being loved, but it doesnt mean u like him as well. Really duno wat the rubbish Im typing lar. Tat's how emo I am lar =.=

I only noe tat I dont dare to go into any more r/s le. Its too scary for me? My expectation too high? If it doesnt meet my expectation, I kinda feel emo! Im such a freakin emo & who can stand it while me myself alady cant stand it sometimes lor *sigh* I will really get affected by small little things like those testimonials or duno lar =S

I got such weird attitude in r/s lor. Darling said before, I always like to hurt those whom I love. Ya, tat's me. I juz duno why. So, pray hard u're not the one I've fallen for lor.

My trust in love was taken away long time ago. When there's no trust, how does love going to be formed? How to love someone when u dun trust him?

How long can a r/s last? It might last but its no longer tat "sweet" as compared to the beginning le. Why r/s has to go tru all sort of stages, quarrels, arguements, jealousy, fights, eventually will end up like enemies or the r/s will turn bland & tat's the end of it. Then u gotta start everything all over again. It's tiring & never ending!

Some ppl have phobia over marriage. Im worse, I havin phobia getting into a r/s or rather to love someone? At times I really forced myself not to love someone, juz to avoid being hurt or hurting someone out there.

Couples or even married couples, do u really noe wat they're doing behind their love ones? Sad to say, I've seen so many cases tat they 精神上出轨 noe wat I mean? I have no rights to say tat their doing is wrong or wat. Juz tat from wat I've seen, this world is juz being so cruel, so fake? Honestly, tink Im once one of them lor. At tat time I feel nth, it's a natural thingy in another sense? Coz when the feeling in a r/s gonna dies off, u tends to get attracted to another r/s? So it's ok, coz the feeling dies out 1st, u didnt betray yr the other half. But now yet I feel tat its so... heartbreakin to learn abt it.

Some ppl might say tat I tink too much lar, when feeling is right den ok le mah. But I dont know my feeling is true anot, so how am I gonna trust my own feelings? I dun wanna go tru all those sad stages lor. Since it's impossible to get the perfect way I want, I rather dun have it in the 1st place. I rather forgo all the starting sweet moments den facing the bitter moments upcoming next.

Messy thoughts, messy entry. Shall end here!

How I wish I can live without love~