想通了也就不难过了~

Haiz~ Actually wanna blog this afternoon de. But when came to this fresh new page, my brain went totally blank. Dont know what to type. =/

Shall blog abit about what happened to me yesterday ba. Got such a shocking in my life lor. Think will forever remember it ba. =(

Yesterday lunch time, Ting, Tramy & I eat Nasi Brayni mah. Then we also drink 7-up, coz left alot from last year's office Xmas party.

5.30pm time to knock off liao. Came back from toilet I felt so uncomfortable, told Ting I feel like throwing up but din't. Suddenly feel tummy unwell, but not those normal stomache. Felt cold & wear my jacket & left office.

Crossed road liao but havent even walk till busstop, tummy felt pain. Listen to Ting & Tramy, I went back office wanna go toilet poo poo. But when I stepped out the 1st step, gosh! My tummy seems bloated like duno wat, can feel the substance inside moving so vigorously! Each step I took, my tummy hurts like hell. I suddenly felt giddy & body super weak!

I dragged myself till halfway near lobby carpark there. Pain till I stopped at there & rest awhile. Continued to move on & saw Wendy coming down the stairs. I asked her to bring me go toilet. Coz I really couldnt walk liao.

Walked halfway till outside PSA office, I buay ta han liao. I kneel down there. So throw face leh. Lobby so much people looking at me! But I really couldnt walk further liao. Berry soon got a PSA staff she came out & find out what happened. After so she went in & got a chair for me to sit. Then I saw Xiaoyun came down also. Think Wendy called office to ask ppl come down ba. Couldnt remember coz at that time my mind is like gong diao liao.

I only remember that PSA lady she asked me is it coz of Yi Ma, I said no. She asked is it the 1st time so pain? Can I take it? Need ambulance? OMG~ I heard ambulance this word then I said I wanna go toilet. Faster siam. Couldnt walk, Xiaoyun helped me all the way till inside toilet sia! Coz when she let go of my hand at the toilet door there I almost fall back. (>_<) She almost stay inside the toilet with me sia. Duhz~ Cannot cannot. I must be strong & I told her I can handle myself coz that toilet is for handicap mah. Really heng sia.

I lao sai alot sia. Like tap water, open & all juz came out. Smelly smelly curry. Think my stomach cannot take curry + gassy drink. Gassy? Got such word boh? =.=

After lao sai feel better le. At least my face looks normal liao. Xiaoyun told me when Im at lobby there my face really pale like a sheet of paper sia. (>_<)

Xiaoyun & Wendy accompanied me rest at the PSA office while waiting for Sharon to drive me home. So paiseh lor. Sharon was rushing her work in office. Coz of me she gotta faster pack her stuff & drive me home. Dont know she got forget to bring anything anot. Haiz~

Reached home sms 2 person. 1 is Snowman. The other is William pek pek. In the end pek pek din reply, can understand lar coz he's in Msia. Snowman he 8.12pm then reply me. Haiz~ Why when I need someone's comfort but nobody was there for me? Sad lor. =(

Oh yah. Tat Snowman said that might meet me at late nite to pass me the magazine which inside got Jielun poster. Coz he got dinner with his frenz 7pm @ IMM. But I wait wait & wait, he never tell me still meeting me anot. Forget it. Deon jio me go KTV but I turned her down coz I told her I might be meeting Snowman at nite. Then she said, ok lor now Snowman more important liao. Haiz~

Went to bed at arnd 9.30pm. Scary hur. Coz after I reached home bath & eat my tummy still feel empty. The only way is to sleep & wont feel anything le.

At nite 11.18pm pek pek then sms me feeling better anot got see doc anot. But I was too tired to reply. Haiz~

Shufang also sms me asking abt Sunday can pass her Jielun's concert merchadize thingy, I also couldnt reply.

23/02/2008 - Saturday

Woke up quite early, think arnd 7.45am. Sms Snowman ask him still angry ah, coz ytd nite abit emo & said something emo lar. Also replied Shufang's sms. Then went back slp again. Arnd 9am Snowman replied le. He ytd nite didnt go meet his fren, also didnt pass me the magazine. Duhz~ What he's thinking? Haiz~ Went back to slp again.

Arnd 12 noon woke up saw Snowman & pek pek sms. Snowman said he's going for swimming. Pek pek he asked me how I feel le. Shit! Forgot to reply Pek pek's ytd sms! *oops* =X Faster reply him. Snowman & pek pek reply sms fast sia! I couldnt rest my fingers for awhile lor. *fainted* Sms till arnd 12.30pm finally stopped & got out bed to see what's my breakfast.

This horrible thing is my breakfast cum lunch! Eeeeeeeeek! Look at that horrigible meat! Got bones got blood! Argh~

This is what went into my tummy in the end. =X

Mama prepare fruits for me. Got 我的美人, 葡萄 & Ang Mo 留连 (sorry duno wat's the real name of it =.=)

Arnd 5pm sms chat with pek pek. Then chat till I like him thingy. Duhz. He ask me really? I said I duno. If I say yes ppl sure tink I'm mad lor. Know pek pek not even 1 month, dint even see his face before how can I say I like him? But sometimes, I do really miss him lar. Whenever I'm bored or got 心事 will miss him de. =( Dont know leh. Coz can communicate well with him & he's quite caring also, unlike Snowman ba. Haiz~

Went to slp awhile then arnd 6pm woke up again. Couldnt slp lar. Muz be slp too much le. Dont know why woke up feel quite pek chek then sms Snowman whether he still wanna pass me the magazine anot. He only replied 2 words "Maybe later"

When I see that word "Maybe" I knew it wont happen le. Coz he ytd also said "Maybe" but also nothing happen. I really dont know what he's thinking lor. Such a simple thing why cant he juz confirm with me 1st. I dont like 24hrs at home stand by for him to activate me like that lor.

Sms him whether he watch "Ah Long Pte Ltd" anot. Coz Monday he told me he wanna watch mah. I was hoping he ask me go watch then also can pass me that magazine mah. But I was wrong. He will never do that. He replied that he haven't watch & I asked him why but he no reply. Always like that de. He happy then reply, not happy then dont reply. When no reply he will say he's sleeping. Haiz~

So regret saying that I've fallen for him that time lor. If I dint say that, he also wont say that he also then I wont be having some hope till now le, then I wont have to be tortured till now le. Argh~ Dont know what am I typing lar! Haiz~

All I know that is he dont like me lar. If he does, the attitude wont be like this le. I only can say I'm just 一厢情愿 from the starting till now lor. Argh~ I'm awake le lar! 不想一次又一次的失望了. Pek pek was right, 没有希望也就不会失望! =(

For this magazine thingy, I only got 1 feeling. 被他耍了一次又一次. Maybe meet in the end is dint meet. If he doesnt wanna meet me why in the 1st place he say he will meet me & pass it to me? I'm really sick & tired of guessing what's on his mind lor. Haiz~

In the end I sms him, "If you doesnt want to pass me that magazine juz say so. If can, u tell me the magazine title I can go buy myself."

Tat's it. I gave up on him le. I know I've said many times I gave up on him le. But this time I really hope it's the last time le. I dont wish to be so emo & cried everytime le. Argh!